Best Washing Machine Poems

I received an email today :
"Would you like to join
The Underpants Club"
A new underwear
directly at your door
once a month
(for only 20 bucks)
Did you say once a month?
My mother taught me
Replace after one use - without exception

In the old days
they had not heard of bacteria ...
but...

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Something is wrong with the washing machine
It's supposed to save me time
The sound of it chugging and whirring away
Is simply quite divine

I'm not quite sure how it happened
The process need some refining
'Cos when the washer has finished it's job
I'm always left with the Ironing....

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Looking at the washing machine, 
A thought came in my mind,
If our brain too had a system just like it,
Everyday we would remove all possible stains,
Of jealousy, anger, hatred and pain.
I wondered and pondered,
And the process of self realization began..
By learning and following some steps,
We...

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Intake of detergent 
I need it now it's urgent
Give me lavender a big supply
I'm complex so oversimplify.
Have I told you I'm complex
See my insides are convex
I get vexed easily
Like a raging army of clouds 
So hastily 
Don't push my buttons 
There's many, dozens.
I also have...

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We run a mobile washing machine van,
To help all the people with none.
We wash really fast, have it clean, dried and ironed,
Ready to wear when we’re done.

We visit the aged, we visit the flats, 
We visit the homeless and down.
We leave everyone looking beautiful again,
Beautiful...

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Thoughts, fantasies, memories	
                               Crossing legs, clenching muscles
        ...

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If I was a washing machine
I would make clanking noises
I would go on strike
I would refuse to spin the clothes
I would make you wring your shirts and pants out
I would laugh at the consternation I cause
If I was a washing machine...

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The Washing Machine

Trembling, writhing in pleasure!
Upon which arouses without measure,
As it was, as it were,
The washing machine, upon which sits thy mother!
Behold! A sight unforetold!
This is no jest.
Do not fret, lest 
you forget, that she hath needs of her own.

Tis be best to forget, bleach...

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I have three personas 
Four voices
Two laughs
One cry

I have a death wish and the antidote is to keep getting by

Pills, potions and a washing machine belly full of poison

Three perpetual loves
Six heart breaks
A bleeding wrist radiator
and a dove who upon his release will get eaten...

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Washing Machine 
There was a time I always went home, by road rail, flight or by bus 
I always got there and still do. Even though when I get there I want 
to leave. The house shrinks every year sibling’s gone mother too, 
she never...

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Written for a contest but realised it was not perfect rhyme scheme as requested so removed as rhymes too embedded to change.

                       ...

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I load the dirty clothes into your drum
You are waiting for the tab willing me on
I close the door and wait diligently
You start to gurgle and grind
I watch as you spin making me smile
You stand there all alone, performing steadily turning
I walk away but never...

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The washing machine
Swallow all the dirty stuffs
While water flushing in to help
But no bargain
The machine starts to grumble
Until all the dust is digested
And drenched away
Only then whistles happily 
For you to collect
The clean and shining stuffs
As an abiding,satisfying 
And remarkable achievement
Better than a laundry woman...

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Years ago, no one had new knees said Dad
They had to make do with the ones they had
Women ran around with wrinkles and gray hair
Plastic surgeons and hair dye did not exist anywhere

I see a brain washing machine down the road
They will open your skull...

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Pig Patty Plop ran into the Laundry mat,
From the awful butcher she was hiding.
Tired, busy mommy was taking some shirts out,
Bubbles hit the floor, and Patty was soon sliding.

She tried to hide under a young child's chair,
But the child let out an enormous scream.
She jumped...

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