Best Toilet Seat Poems

Wet Was Toilet Seat

Here is my problem want to repeat;
Some liquid was left on toilet seat;
Made by man,
Who always can;
My frantic fanny and it would meet.

Jim Horn

How to greet a toilet seat and toilet
paper each sheet. Incidentally, I
always keep mine shut so the cats
can't drink...

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A real rebel I am, leave the toilet seat up
Leave dishes in the sink, don't rinse my cup
Bad through and through
But a loveable old shmoo
Slightly unbalanced but only a wee touch...

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A man sitting on a toilet seat giving strength to his belly, 
though resting his chin on his hand imitating the thinker 
who is sitting in front of the gate of hell with deep thoughts, 
naked on the bottom-half because he couldn't get completely naked...

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Toilet Seat

This again I may have to repeat
What if I were a troublesome toilet seat
Instead of up and down one of these days
I actually would have moved it sideways.

James Thomas Horn
Retired Veteran...

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Toilet seat up?
If yes, stress
Big mess.
If no, oh
So less stress
So less mess
Less mess for Jess.
Rhyming aside, I hope it’s down....

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Now I'm not the kind of guy
used to luxury or wealth
fancy "cribs" as they now
call them (ain't that ridiculous?)
the only luxury I've tasted
is on TV with Robin Bleach...
or in brief stays on vacation
where I liveed nicely for a bit
but these were all illusions
and life is...

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Got a new toilet seat, a nationwide news flash
Can't wait to go, to create a big splash
A thrill unexplained
Boggles the brain
Need exercise to prepare for the twenty-yard dash...

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Up, down, manji gamei 
Flack on shoulders, somersault 
Quadruple full flip...

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My grandmother purchased the most beautiful toilet seat.
She cherished and coveted it, and never let our bottoms meet.
It’s mine, she said. I am the only one who can use it.
Her husband tried to use it once, and she pitched a royal fit.

It is gorgeous we...

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Who left the toilet seat up? The clan began to screech.
It couldn’t have been Baby James, he can barely reach.
Was it that oaf Jim or Uncle Bob the one who sneezes?
I have no idea, someone said, but he does do what he pleases.

Well, Grandma has...

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Trump Sitting On Toilet Seat

What if feet and glass may meet;
Saw Trump sitting on toilet seat;
Blood flowing;
Wind blowing;
Hide face and feet with a sheet.

Jim Horn...

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Toilet Seat Art Museum USA
Shown by appointment every Tuesday
You think I’m lying?
It’s art, and I’m dying.
4.9 stars. Texas, I’m on my way!...

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If women could stand up to pee
Oh how happy we all would be!
In half the time
She'd spend her dime
And then leave the seat up for me!


Champion retort:

Let's hope her aim
Is not as lame
As most men's seem to be!

Michelle Faulkner Date: 9/27/2018 6:35:00 PM...

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