Best Redneck Poems

T'were the night after Christmas, 'n' the house was all dark.
Not much money for 'lectric in the ol' trailer park.
Ma waitin' tables at the club on the base,
jist me and my sisters alone in the place.

A big ol' blue norther, t'were a hard winter storm.
We's...

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A REDNECK LOVE POEM

Susie Lee done fell in love,
She planned to marry Joe.
She was so happy 'bout it all,
She told her pappy so.

Pappy told her, Susie Gal,
You'll have to find another.
I'd just as soon yore ma don't know,
But Joe is yore half brother.

So Susie put...

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I love the way you turn me on
When we sit on our sofa on the lawn

Your breakfast is the greatest dear
Scrambled eggs and a case of beer

I listen to each breath you take
Your snoring always keeps me awake

Remember walking up the hill
To get some moonshine...

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Cuter than a June bug was Blossom
Bubba's hound had a nose for possum
   Bush moved and they watched it shake
   Not a possum, dadgum snake
Bubba took aim, results were awesome

Tweren’t the end of Blossom’s era
Sucked out venom; used Aloe Vera
 ...

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Every couple 'a years or so 
Our family reunites
It takes a couple 'a years or so
To recover from the fights

A family like our'n
Doesn't party like most do
Ours gets a little out of hand
That's why we have so few

It's a redneck family reunion
everybody has a grand...

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‘Twas close to the day when Buba Claus,
His red nose and Bowie knife shining,
Would be off to fill the manly's hearths,
With bacon for their frying.

The ground was bare of snow or ice, 
The sky was clear of reindeer. 
But Buba Claus was loading his sleigh,...

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***NOTE~TO BE READ WITH A RIDICULOUS "SILKY SOUTHERN DRAWL" (have fun:)***



"Storm over yet...?"

"Well hay'ell ye'ah! 
 woo-hoo!
 sum'body git me a da'gumm cole beer.
 whadda'bou  that boy th'er?
 sum'body git him'a cole beer too!"

"Diddy! that boy ain't nothin' but 8 years old!"

"Wha'choo sayin? 
...

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You melt my butter.
You sop my gravy.
There is no other
like my redneck baby.

You're the frost on my mug;
the salt on my pretzel.
You really squish my mud.
You're the one I want to wrestle.

But if faithful, you're not,
or you be loose and fast;
not Cupid's arrow shot,
but mine,...

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Racial slurs fly in Michigan like footballs. 
I'm not supposed to point the finger at white women,
but white women who enjoy NASCAR, and mass 
quantities of alcohol. can be pretty racists and homophobic, 
This white woman said, "What did God say when he made 
the...

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Redneck Car

my redneck car is no junk

eight cylinders,  what a hunk

beer cans over the floor

to enter there’s no door

the back seat is sometimes my bunk  



2/18/2016

Poetry Contest:  LIMERICK CONTEST II - FOR FUN

 Sponsored by: JAN ALLISON...

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RED ON THE HEAD,
LIKE A WEENIE ON A DOG,
LIKE A NOODLE ON A POODLE,
LIKE KETCHUP ON A LOG,...

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~When retired Redneck take a vacation,
   Needs not AARP’s senior discounts,
   Motel tarpaulin costs are his passion,
   A Redneck needs not large bank cash amounts.

~Give him some worms that squirm and North Fork Creek,
   With wilderness trees,...

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When the preacher asked Do you take this man
The groom thought this was a thrill
The bride replied I may as well
Being no one else will
When the preacher said Do you take this woman
For your awful wedded wife
The groom replied Oh my
You mean the sentence is...

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Redneck Angel
Lyrics By Robert Taylor


A thousand cases of beer
Hangin’ with Jack all night
Sleeping with women from a bar
Not knowin’ their names when I woke

Then I saw your eyes in the dark
Sitting alone in the bar
An Angel from heaven sent
Dressed in Daisy dukes
And red hot cowboy...

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Bubba's goat is baaaaad 
It done gone and ate his shorts 
Burps the abc's. 

Copyright © Cynthia Jones 
Oct.16/2005...

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