Best Golf Poems

The grass
alas
is shorn
like corn
the dew
eschews
forlorn
this morn

the crowd
avowed
the ball
and all
then groans 
and moans
clubs thrown
are known.

Embued
and hued
the words
like swords
wrong swing
the sting
bad lie
too high

the squeeze
on knees
in pleas?
to seize
the gold
and hold
glory
story

though droll
their goal 
control
cajole
that ball
to fall
or roll
in hole

August 22,2022
For Brian Strand's Premiere Choice Contest
FIRST PLACE TROPhy!
POEM OF THE WEEK!...

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Over fifty years have passed,
Tho’ it seems like just the other day;
My father gave me golf clubs,
“It’s a game you need to learn to play.”

He said, “It’s very difficult, but so is life.
There’s more to learn than grip and swing and rules,
Like honesty and dealing...

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While a man was golfing in Fife
a funeral cortege was arife,

       his head bowed in prayer
       at this somber affair

to pay last respects to his wife!...

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This game of golf as is this life, 
Played all life, perfect still can't be, 
Ever reminding of one’s wife, 
Put on pedestal, upon tee, 
Handicaps, roughs, bogies stay rife, 
And played as if on edge of knife! 

Easy to start, hard to finish, 
And...

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I'm two inches wide,
                                         ...

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I really am a golfer 
And let me tell you why
Its only when I swing a club
I really feel alive

I really am a golfer 
And take my driver out 
I swing my club and hit the ball
As hard and I have might

I really and a...

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A slight hint of consternation was in her voice,
“Why did you tell those people I’m deaf and dumb?”
“I never said you were deaf, my Dear.”
She laughed, but I kinda felt like a bum.

Hell.  It was just a joke.

One evening, she asked, “Will you love...

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You’re in Palm Springs, not much to do 
But golf and get some sun
Hop on a cart, still almost dark
Get out and have some fun

Line up your shot, you’re feeling hot
You try hard not to push
But half the time, like you were blind
It ends up...

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Flailin’,  flailin’, flailin’;
There goes my ball sailin’
Into a trap, the water or the woods.

Flailin’, flailin’, flailin’;
You can hear me wailin’,
“Why won’t that damn ball go where it should?

Drives go right.  Putts go wrong.
I shank my wedges or ‘skull’em’ long.
My golf game’s just no...

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It was in the mists of morning, beneath the rising morning sun,
We had come to conquer Ft. Langley, It was me and Al and John.
We had all teed off quite nicely, on number one I scored a seven,
But Al warned me that one was easy...

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Walking my tiger home alone
In the background and unknown
With a rag I polish a club
Then you take it with a snub

I walk around keeping stats
Wet my finger for wind on flats
Calculate yards from here to there
So dimpled ball will stay in the air

As fast as...

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You Know

By Elton Camp

The conversation has only begun
When I realize it is with a moron.
On every thought he does bestow
The foolish phrase, “You know.”

Just how could I possibly know
Until he proceeds to tell me so.
“I really like sports, you know.
They just put my heart aglow.”

“I...

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What a great day for golf in the middle of Fall,
feeling quite chipper I drew a smile on my ball.
My confidence rose as I stepped to the tee,
while I stared down the flag on this gorgeous par three.

I swung back the club that I held...

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Trump went to the golf course today 
But nobody wanted to play
When someone yelled, "Fore!"
Trump thought they yelled, "Whore!"
And proudly stood in the ball's way...

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old age is wonderful
I get to fumble around my apartment and find things 
I never saw before...

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