Best Felon Poems

There once was a man who was a felon
Who had just stolen a watermelon
But when he swallowed a seed
A little girl decreed
I think maybe your belly is swellin'...

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Detested humanity                                           ...

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If you Google ‘a convicted felon’
You’ll find the name of a person
Who’s rich, popular and flamboyant
You’ll see his original mug shot
Ladies and gentlemen, believe it or not
As we speak, this felon is dying to be president
Again, again, in order to avoid jail time
As we know,...

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He sounded like. "Behave!” 
Out with the first light of the morn. 
It glared, In dozens!...

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Recently thought of robbing a bank
If caught, I'll just call it a wee prank
If cops don't allow 
Put me in the hoosegow
I'll make friends with a felon and break ranks...

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This is a different time, a new season
These days, crimes seem to pay
For a multitude of obvious reasons
As we all know by now, this is another day
Full of surprises, felons don’t go to prisons
They have top-notch official protection
Twenty four hours a day, this is truly...

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Dear Jayne,
Of course I'll go with thee,
Upon the train to Coventry,
Make sure of good boots on your feet,
And meet me Sunday at New Street,
I'll get your ticket for I've a pass,
I think we'll do it second class,
It isn't far and well besides,
My wage wont run...

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It tells a lot about Prez Trump,
Long shall US carry this lump
And long shall show the scar--
Long as lives Polar Star,
A burden on its back as hump.

Yet, it also tells us a lot:
Its pillars stand on righteous spot,
That, its top court can be
Firm as to...

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like taunted tiger
seeped'n saucy anger
felon fury fostered
fiery feelings triggered
callous claws smirk
dripping lanky lurch

saucy silhouette scribbled
with whooshing wiggle
naive cubs cobbled

as rustling rage
smite tainted trace
intruder felon phrase

same, salient emotions
strap squishy combustions.
'20:02:17:15:44...

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*Felon Feast Fall*

will be done
zeal tumultuously torn
felon tiers' turn
vile voluptuous verge
cuss be curse
pruning pulsing purse

faith be bait
fate, tactic trait
twain tracking trail

callous crest chittering
luminescent lust leering
spent passion puking

gollible groups growl
felon feast fall.
      19:12:16:08:00...

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dark dearth dribbled
crunching cloned cripples:
hoisted hay forlorn
perforating pulpy pawn
punctured pills pored
gaunt gifts gored

nocturnal nature tamed
leering lanky lame
kaleidoscopic chaos craved

meagre missiles moaned
munching mufti robe
rusty rhythm poked

yearning yucks yelled
fuming felon flesh.
      '20:05:04:20:07

Note: Of numbed nature....

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                       Feline Felon



     ...

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When we retired we were so inspired:
To live free and rest from our labors.
This mobile home park has lived up to the mark,
But oh, goodness gracious, the neighbors.

Jay the old peeper can snoop through the creeper
And tell if the ladies are bathing.
At times he's been...

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They are eating the dogs
They are eating the cats
They are eating the pets
They are eating the wild hogs.

In the early 20th “c”, Germans used to eat blockade mutton
That’s absolute truth. It’s a shame that this felon
Is desperate and going wild. The dude is a pathological...

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He’s a very famous shell-man.
Who thought he was coated with teflon.
Can a narcissist be taught a lesson?
By him, the prosecutor and judge were threatened,
could the legal system withstand his aggression?
Yeah, his guilt was proven beyond question,
and now a 34-time convicted felon.
What’s he going to tell...

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