Best Farmer Poems

The Farmer and his Corn


Snug and warm beneath the earth
The field awaits the coming birth
It holds the richness that they need
Provides the anchor for the seed

The farmer by his hand did sow
Soon he knows his seed will grow
When length of day and rain is right
And...

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On the banks of the mighty Skagit,
where the rushing waters flow,
sat a fisherman of merit,
the one known as Farmer Joe.
Long he sat there, long he fished there,
always waiting for the day
he would catch a mighty salmon
and it wouldn't get away.
He had lived upon the prairies
where...

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Oakland County MI                   Democrats                       ...

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I went to visit Farmer Fred
Found him out in his wood shed
He was splitting up some oak
As I approached, he paused and spoke

“When I was young, I served my country and was willing to give my life for what I believed this country stood for.”
“Today...

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There once was a farmer called Mr Brown
Who with his duck in tow went off to town
The duck panicked and quacked all the way
The farmer had his fill and left the duck in the dray
Then disappeared into the Rose & Crown 

There once was a...

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When Farmer Brown’s daughter grew busty,
The men pulling turnips grew lusty.
Brown then had to choose
Which shotgun to use
If one of those hands proved untrusty....

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The pig overheard the farmers conversation,
talking about their crops and needing weather salvation,
the farmers saying "it'll probably rain when pigs fly!,"
to help out the pig thought he'd give it a try,

He wallowed out of his mud and snuck around,
to the inside of the barn not...

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He tills within the buzzard's flight 

this cruel land he calls his home, 

ewe and wether, milk and bucket, 

broken spirit, ne'er to roam. 

He's stuck for good, the laws of nature 

guide him, be they right or wrong, 

gone his hopes and his compassion,...

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Poor old Farmer McGillicuddy
He’s somewhat of a fuddy-duddy
   He plows with an ox
   All progress he blocks
No wonder his corn tastes so cruddy...

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I got out my pipe and stuffed it with pot, 
You better believe, it held a whole lot.
I whipped out a lighter and thumbed up a flame,
Then sucked down that smoke which comforts my brain.

I tried alcohol; and smoked cigarettes,
Though, they did nothing, but give...

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Farmer Fred was out in his field making inspection
When I snuck up on him without detection
I stated my greetings with great voice inflection
Which caused Fred to jump in the opposite direction
Then he smiled and made genuflection
Saying, you caught me in introspection
As I was contemplating the...

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Let me explain the numbers I see
The first chart illustrates the five states that flipped
Notice how close the totals are
So, when folks dismiss the evidence of fraud
As being inconsequential I think this demonstrates they’re mental 

Now as to Maricopa, it is the single county that...

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A farmer drove into town.
Some posters made him frown.
They said, "Go to the Poll".
He said,"In the pasture below?"
"Right now, they're standing a'chowin'".

(To understand this limerick, you must understand that a polled cow has no horns from birth)...

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There once was a farmer named Larry
With a hundred cows at his dairy
Larry did his best
Hired help for the rest
Milking that many cows was scary
...

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Turkey farmer Jones was seen as a kook.
Many declared his whole life was a fluke.
But they were not aware
Jones had learned a skill rare,
he was fluent in speaking gobbledygook....

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