Best Doggerel Poems

It is our poetic verse
That releases the restraints
Opening our minds eye 
To flowing sincere thought  

It is the flowing of ink
That becomes our salve
Healing our wounds and scars
Allowing us to be unafraid again

It is the poet’s candid opus
The voice of the untainted spirit
Transferring our...

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When I was a lad and somewhat brash
I often read the poems of Ogden Nash,
whose humourous rhymes on many themes,
was motivation for my own poetic dreams.

Later when I took to reading Edgar Allen Poe,
more of this clever author, I longed to know.
Words from this expert...

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We suffer that lyrical curse,
The scribbling of unrefined verse.
'Tis Duggan's "Doggerelitis";
And teachers ironically fight us,
Like being beat up by your nurse....

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You may as well put the shovel down
If you think this vivisepulture will be my end
I survived the suffocation of a small town
And I'll be damned if this is how I descend

Just another obsequious sycophant 
And a supercilious, self-aggrandizing fraud
In this room there is but...

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To dwell  in the realm of Doggerel Bank
Shows the writer up as  a crank.
Should anyone my poems  stoop  to chronicle,
I would surely be ranked with the Great  McGonagall.

Whether I rise with lark or cockerel
My poems sink to the depths of...

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Roses are red,
Purples are violet.
Grammars of standard
Your rhyme dictate why let?...

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Doggerel I or Nonsense Verse

A$$tronomical
by Michael R. Burch

Einstein, the frizzy-haired,
proved E equals MC squared.
Thus, all mass decreases
as activity ceases?
Not my mass, my a$$ declared!



Bible Libel
by Michael R. Burch

If God
is good,
half the Bible
is libel.

I came up with this epigram after reading the Bible from cover to...

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Dogmatic deconstructionists
 declaim
  the Dogs of Doggerel
   during the
Dog Days of Delusion

Deluded destroyers
 deliver
  the Dogfights of Doggerel 
   during the 
Dog Dances of Derision 

Derisive decoys
 denounce
  the Doghouses of Doggerel 
   during the 
Dog...

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Doggerel II: Doggerel about Doggerel, or, More Nonsense Verse

The Board
by Michael R. Burch

Accessible rhyme is never good.
The penalty is understood:
soft titters from dark board rooms where
the businessmen paste on their hair
and, Walter Mitties, woo the Muse
with reprimands of Dr. Seuss.

The best book of the age...

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Whatever may come of whatever may,
The breeze comes blowing in it own way,
Swirling round the sandy cove,
Gulls swirling twirling above shallow shoals.
My breezy breath is pulled from me
To feed the wind, to lift the leaves,
To pass once more my shell like ears,
Assault the eyes, bring...

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I'd like to spend some time with you,
my dark and smooth draftee.
At dusk, when all my work is through,
I know you'll wait for me.

You're full of body, fair on top,
a bubble-head they say.
Your scent of roasted malt and hop
a working-man's bouquet.

Although there's fire in your...

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The eyes would rather not engage the world.
Cotton mouth, parched, and aware of a thirst.
The muscles, lobbying to remain curled.
Feet swing to the floor, prepared for the worst.

Stiffness escapes in most audible groans.
Shuffling, a zombie, a gruesome undead.
Articulating two hundred plus bones
Fills the old body...

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It was some hours of purgatory,
Self imposed, but all the same,
He thought of it as purgatory as
He listened to them declaim 
Their long strings of words with
No apparent rhyme or reason,
As if joy and happiness had
Somehow fallen out of season.
They said he wrote doggerel 
Of...

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Dedicated to my favourite poet - Shelley

If a tortoise, if a turtle
You are never going to hurtle
Witness how your limbs are placed
Splayed east to west, all carapaced
what if some meat-eating moron,
Jonesing for a snack to gnaw on,
sees you sumo-stepping by
thinks "Hey look - a fresh...

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Animal Poems II

These are poems about animals, limericks and other forms of doggerel.



Ballade of the Bicameral Camel
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a camel who loved to hump.
Please get your lewd minds out of their slump!
He loved to give RIDES on his large, lordly lump!



The...

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