Best Boris Poems

(To the tune of Robin Hood)

Boris Blood Boris Blood
Mayor of London town
Boris Blood Boris Blood
Some say he;s a clownl

Takes off the poor
Gives to the rich
Boris Blood Boris Blood.

Boris Blood Boris Blood
Went to public school
Boris Blood Boris Blood
So who does he fool

Takes from the poor
Gives to...

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Boris and Doris


There was a man name Boris
who had a wife name Doris
when he coughed
wife did scoff
they both couldn't sing chorus.


Written: Nov. 9, 2015
Theresa...

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Boris the wombat was very fat
So fat in fact
That he had to sit back on his hind legs
Just like a dog when he begs
His best friend was called Pat, the wombat in the Akubra hat

One day Boris and Pat, the wombat in the Akubra hat
Went...

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Boris was a strange looking creature
The Lord Mayor's pride and joy
The Mayor was known by several names
But officially as John son of Roy.

The Mayor told the people
Boris was a stallion of the finest stock
The Mayor controlled the taxes
So the people dared not mock.

The Mayor believed...

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Boris the Beagle

This is the story of Boris the Beagle, 
Fearless and brave like Eddie the Eagle. 
Ski jumps, sky dives, death defying dare,
Hang gliding stunts, spinning in the air. 
 
High speed zip wire, Boris on the line, 
Jumping off a bridge into the...

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PM Boris Johnson wrestles with bad hair days, but he doesn't seem to care!

Would some kind soul lend the bloke a comb and brush to tame his tousled hair!...

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It was the snow over the earth
in every edge,
the candle burned on desk, of course,
it waited change.

Like summer midges in the swarm
that fly to fire,
the snowflakes flew from yard to warm
near window frame pyre.

The blizzard made some booms and balls
on glass of window,
the candle burned...

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Boris is my cat and he’s so very soppy
He likes his tummy tickled and is never stroppy

He’s friendly and gentle and follows me around
Always by my side is where he will be found

With his long white whiskers he’s a handsome chap
I wonder what he’s thinking...

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Two weeks of sun at Xmas and new year
Palm Oasis in our nineteenth year
Always a joy around the pool we sat
Never did we think to make a friend
Called Boris the cat

The old chap was friendly and his nose had seen many battles
We called him Boris...

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There once was a gal from motor city
who drove a Prius to give her celebrity.
Her guy drove a Ford
and cursed her “Oh, Lord!”
Their divorce was a forgone necessity!

Their children, a boy and a girl, 
took sides and gave each car a whirl.
The girl took the...

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I wielded my sword
And slayed the foul dragon,
Then crammed the vile beast
Right back in his flagon.

Pickled and sodden
There will he lie
Few to remember
Fewer to cry.

Obnoxious his deeds,
Destructive his breath,
His venom pervasive,
So glad for his death.

Now we can harness
Our thoughts and our prayers,
Be kind and productive
Not...

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Boris Johnson, what a jerk
That irritating secret smirk
That says he thinks it's all a joke
I reckon he's the sort of bloke
Who always gets away with it
Whatever, knowing Nanny's tit
Will ever fill his silver spoon
However bad he's been, the goon
And he, like other spoilt boys
I reckon...

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It's nearly time for PMQs
Said Boris, and I've blocked the bog
With one of my enormous poos
It's nearly time for PMQ's
It's hard to verbally abuse
The opposition when your log
Is staring at you. PMQs
Said Boris, and I've blocked the bog

© Gail Foster 18th November 2020...

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In my dreams
like many have dreams,
I went to number 10 Drowning Street.
in this pandemic, isolation to cheat,
there is no other better place 
to meet, greet, drink and eat!
In the back garden, I sat with Boris,
chatting and laughing a guff!
Donald sat drinking a can of beer,
American,...

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Quis? Ego
~ on the anointing of Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson

So what if it was just a drunken dare
Quis? Ego! Made at Eton long ago
I dub thee Boris of the Golden Hair
Servus, servum, servi, servo, servo
So what if afterwards they went to town
and ordered tiny...

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