Best Badder Poems
The Bad, The Ugly and The Good (aka: Bad, Badder, Baddest)
The Bad
I am the gun-toting, God-fearing Ganja Gangsta.
I’ll smoke you, pray for you, then have my daily siesta!
I answer to no one, and fear no man; No Sir!!!
I answer to only One Master. That’s Heaven’s Prime Minister.
I am the player-hating, man-baiting Sister Disaster.
I’ll woo you, thrill you, then …kill you; true that, mister!
I just swagger thru the city with my ‘Ghetto Blaster’,
I don’t mean sounds, fool!!! I mean my ‘piece’ … to blast ya!!!
I am the mean-looking, menacing Monster Mobster.
I’ll cut ya, shred ya, and have me a pasta fiesta.
I do not boil ‘em…! No sah!! I’d eat a live lobster!
I’m so mean ….Hey! ..I’ll even steamroller your hamster!!!
I am the fast-talking, Bible-bashing Pastor Imposter.
I’ll bless you, fleece you, then sex-up Sister Disaster
I’m just a shyster - but please don’t tell the Menacing Mobster!
She’s the God-fearing Gangsta’s wife - and the Mobster’s sister!
The Ugly (Badder)
I am the flesh-eating, life-sapping, Cluster-Sinister.
I am impartial; care not for class, colour, creed or gender.
I am microbe, but not a person-respecter; ask the sex inspector.
I am sorry, but for me to survive, you have to become a spectre.
I am the tear-jerking, game-changing, people-Prankster
I get called ‘*****’, ‘Sod’, …some even call me a ‘Mater-Conjugator’.
I don’t like Gangsters, Mobsters and especially that dodgy Pastor
I may get mad, or even get even; Call me ‘Life’, or call me ‘Karma’.
The Good (Baddest)
I am the Beginning, the Alpha/Omega; Heaven’s only Prime Minister
I wrote the Good Book, but look inside, I have never been a Jester!
I carry fire and brimstone to bolster my holster - you’d better helter-skelter!
I mete out justice, and vengeance administer: you'd better pray faster!!!
(Fg 81.5.8 - January 2016)
LOVE HURT'S
I want you to love me from deep within,
not from the love that going to hurt me again.
Not the love the going to make me cry,
because the guy I choose to have in my life.
Not the love that make's me bleed,
not the love that make me cry on my knee's.
I don't want the love that blacks my eye's,
and everyone has to ask me why?
Why do I have to lie to my family, and friend's?
Just because you hit me again.
All the love I have gave to you,
is this really the best you can do?
I made you feel like the star you are,
how come I can't be your shining star?
I've loved you when you have yet to love your self,
but I'm the one with the busted mouth.
Having to feel the back of your hand,
makes you even less of a man!
I want to see you hit a man in that same way,
the way you hit and treat me every day!
It's not going to be easy having to feel the way I do,
when he takes your man hood from you!
You make me regret ever ****en with you!
Then you can come walk a mile in my shoes,
when he straight *****es you!
Remember revenge live's in us all,
and I can't wait for the day to see you fall.
Don't worry because you weep what you sow.
What you do in the past,
alway's come back to haunt your ass!
If you don't want to get hit on,
I advise you don't hit on me!
Because someone is alway's bigger and badder,
that you just can't beat!
If you a real man you'll step to a man in the street's,
and stop hitting women you already know you can beat.
You know deep down your a bigger ***** then me,
So step to a real man,
and feel the heat of defeat!
Greed is a gambler...dropping the dice...high anxiety rambler
Roller coaster ride...eyes and ears set to extreme
Back and forth up and down...black, blue, and blurred in a blink in the breeze
Jokers always looking for that big jackpot...red lights roar and the sirens scream
Endlessly searching for that sure fire scheme
Stain glass sinner on a winning week
Greed is a gangster...pulling big paper and pushing bad bullets
Hair trigger henchman getting bigger and badder
Rob to get richer...gruesome giant starts to grow
Grabbing and getting...never giving back what he stole
Teardrops on tombstones...still ruthlessly he rolls
Greed is a gold digger...Pearl necklace on a pig
Smooth and sexy swine
Drunk on diamonds and dollars...demoness dressed so divine
Keep taking until it's all took
Corrupt with the coochie...that cutie's a crook
Sweat stains on the silver spoon
Her shadows turn to slaves
Prostitute her pride but she's still getting paid
Greed runs out of gas and leaves it's victims burned and bashed
Lies get told like whips and lashes leaving you cashed out cold just like a hot check
Greed always gets another to do its dark bidding
so it can live longer and keep on sinning
Greed says the grass is always greener on the other side of the hole
Greedy death is what you get when your master is more
I like to sit and watch them boys
Tinker with their toys
Hood up, hands grimy
Sweat pouring down handsome faces
Oil spots in weird places
I like to sit and watch them work with a master’s poise
Those car loving boys
I love to watch them
gently
O p e n
a portion of their hearts
Brave Chiseled faces soften
Polishing seldom seen chrome smiles and illuminating smarts
And every so often
If bad enough, rusty rim spots
I enjoy
Witnessing the Magic of mechanics
Gazing at the devotion streaming
From ignitions, and the spark
Plugs closing the world off
It’s just him and his baby
He knows what’s wrong by the sound of her voice
When she chokes or when her axle will give out
Lover’s intuition
Propping open her chest and knowing
Where her nerves are, and how to touch her just right
A mechanic knight on a mission
A twist here, a yank there
A closer inspection
A poke, a dusting,
A little loving
Some gentle scrubbing
The excitement when she finally purrs
Like a Tiger
Sleek and shiny
Curvaceous and Dangerous
When at her best
So for the Rice Boys with a Mitsubishi Eclipse
The restored Mustangs or project whips
The Homeboys Lowridin’
Hydraulics jumpin’ , bass pumpin’, mind grindin’
Cadillac Macks with wood grain and leather
Or those Bad Boys with Harley’s that can go in any kind of weather
sugar sweet cowboys with pick-up trucks
Rich boys with Jaguars that like to get crunk
Papi Chulos with SUV’s
Shot gun is where I want to be
Mm, Baby, imagine it
Ain't you badder than bad?
With the stereo blasting our favorite song
Darkest Tint, sunglasses on
Your two favorite Ladies by your side
Slick
I promise
I will never get jealous or act suspicious
I’m fine being the mistress as long as
he has the patience
understands my high maintenance
And , for sure
that he knows how to
Make MY engine
Roar
So the better bitter batter wants a better bitter bat
But the better bitter batter baker wants to break his cat
'Cause the badder batter baker bakes the better batter's bats
While the better batter's biggest brother balks at all of that.
So the bitter batter's brother bakes a bitter batter bite
with the better bats of butter and the baker's bitter kite
and the bitter better baker breaks the badder baker's bike
So the badder batter baker and the better baker fight.
So the bitter bakers battle, bitter batter now abounds
And the better bitter batter hears these bitter battle sounds
Now the better batter's bitter, no solution can be found.
So the bitter better batter bats both bakers to the ground.
We sometimes drink and smoke so much We get beat until we are battered
Our dreams were like one giant wall of glass where upon they were destined to be shattered
Broken in a heap of glass we now stay occupied where lost souls continue to gather
Dark yet so desolate living amongst those were nothing in life but a quick death seems to matter
It seems as if the harder we try the more below we get needing somekind of ladder
All I hear are silent screams among gossiping chit chatter
Our truth is getting skinnier while our lies are well fed by the way the are getting fatter
Crying souls overcome those that are filled with laughter
The clock for many of us gets slow but our life train to death only gets faster
Many of us which remain lost in addiction looking for a positive leader, a mentor, some kind of master
But when shyt hits the fan we must remain strong even if we just lost someone close and are feeling sadder
If life is to throw us those curveballs in a the ring then its time stop mr nice guy and get badder
You must endure the shyt that you got to endure even if it gets your hands and feet a little tathered
Life can and will get you drunk so handle your drink or let it bring you down until you can no longer stagger
You must tell yourself **** them and everybody else because you still got skill even if you aint got swagger
Just tell yourself "**** they judgements" because you know in your own eyes you still look sharper than a dagger
SO QUIT ACTING LIKE YOU AINT NEVER BEEN MENTALLY BEAT UNTIL YOUR PERSONALITY WAS BATTERED.....BECUASE IT WHAT YOU MAKE IT IN THE END THAT TRULY MATTERS!!!!!
She wasn't worth much
But I loved her I did
Like nothing I loved before
She was rusty and dusty
She didn't smell good
And had a dent in her passenger door
I was only sixteen
Thought I was cool
Driving around feeling badder than bad
The greatest feeling on earth
To have your own wheels
Even though she belonged to my dad
There was a tear in the front seat
And the radio was broke
It took a while to start
With a manual choke
She had a manual transmission
And the headlights were weak
She had a miss in the engine
And a slight oil leak
But I held up my head and felt like a star
Driving around in that rusty old car.
Kids don't seem to have love affairs with their vehicles anymore. This was a
black 1950 two door Ford coup. The memories were priceless.
Tourist traps
Can a plonker should a plonker,
love a San-Goanna stonker,
not unless he’s bloody bonkers
coming is de crazy cats in white,
see crazy San-Goannas running,
sucking birds eggs, an out a hunting ,
Kookaburra eating snakes humming,
Ha, ha. ha, ha, sweet delight…
Mr tourist, watchem watchem,
Keep the eyeball sharp insight,
Funnel web, dodge and sidestep,
Death is coming with his bite
Watchem mr death by adder,
Step on him will fang ya badder,
Piddle from the bloody bladder,
Hysterectomy of fright,
Mr Death do say goodnight…
Don Johnson
no bities are getting ironed out by Aussies, some are protected like brown snakes, Brisbane still has Brown snakes and Kangaroos, though they are rare here...Funnell web spider is found in the Toowoomba mountain area and in Sydney suburbs sometimes....watch out for trapdoor web over an inch or bigger hole in ground....
When I be out cuttin mye graiss befo,
Duh Lawd gimmie a sign.
Least ways iffin hit wus not duh Lawd
Maybe sumpthin else, cause
Duh Lawd He don’t want no body
usin His name fur a laiff.
So I be starten ovuh hyar,
wif mye tell.
When I do be out cuttin mye graiss befo,
sumpthin gimmie a sign.
Quick as a jack rabbit wid one hine laig
I be done named a new daince.
Hit be duh far aint stomp.
Yessuhree, I fount myeseff
ankle deep in far aints on duh inside mye paints.
Knee deep in them thangs on duh outside.
Whachoo gonna do widdum?
Well, I commenced to stomp thet laig.
Hit felt so good I commenced to stomp
t’other jus out of puor delyt.
First thang I knowed, I had stompt down
a whole row uv Dixie Lee Pees (sp?)
and twenny hills of peenuts (sp?)
People allus sez thet duh laist time
whut dey gots bit bye a far aint
Hit bees duh wussest bite ever
and dey allus say thet hit bees duh biggest, baddest
far aint whut evuh lived.
Annen dey turns around five minits later
Adder dey done squshed dat biggest,
baddest, far aint whut evuh lived.
And don’t choo know dey gits bit by
one meaner, badder, an bigger.
When I gits restid up by toomar
I’ll be puttin’ on a liddle music
sumwhir out of site of mye wife
and I’ll see iffin I caint rermember
how to do thet stomp.
23 aug 2010 For Paula's "Poetry's sake" contest
Badder Day
I woke up this morning
so cold I'm almost jerking.
My house was almost freezing
my furnace wasn't working.
I stepped outside to take a ride
and stopped where I was at.
All four of my truck tires
and my spare was flat.
I fired up my motor
in my truck parked in the street.
And relished in the moment
as I started feeling heat.
Pulling off my jacket
when the next thing that I knew.
Steam was going everywhere
my heater hose just blew.
I could not believe my luck
I couldn't get it through my head.
I tried to call my mother
but my cell phone had gone dead.
Then I turned in time to see
this poor girl with her dad.
I suddenly felt better
my day don't look so bad.
Edwin C Hofert
melting wax , burn my hand ,
flowing down , like a droplet,
white in color , round as a band ,
melting wax , burn my hand .
killing me , burning me ,
ruining me , destroying me ,
doing something , nothing good ,
same as a piece of burning wood .
giving me light , during night ,
badder than a bulb , better than nothing ,
help me , or do something ,
melting wax , burn my hand .
curtains on fire ,
running , I'm tired !
not on time , I'm fired
melting wax , burn my hand !!!
I got a gat
that's badder than yours
My rat-a-tat-tat
makes a whole lot of noise
My metal numbers,
whether big or small,
can outperform yours
in the streets or at the mall
I can go big
like a 357 Mag cannon
I can go small
like a 9 mil 'Retta soul getta
I got a gat,
my gat's badder than yours
It makes a mean rat-a-tat-tat
that stops all of the noise
If you wanna meet my gat,
and my gat wanna meet yours
It's okay,
just set the time
Corral your crew,
and I'll get mine
Then start the party blast,
and see who will win
Lets whittle down the cast
to the last man standing
I got a gat
that badder than yours
My rat-a-tat-tat
makes a whole lot of noise
I got a gat
that leaves a silent smoke trail
My rat-a-tat-tat
sends 'em all blazing straight to hell
Nancy's Shrink, goddess,
Yes we write of life and all the strife,
and the mind ferrets,will want to know today,
does ya hate ya momma, dadda,
was they really nasty badder,
or did ya personality,
really blossom just this way?
Could we earn anudder dollar,
could we squeeze out, a little holler,
cos me gambling has dropped me cheque book,
lotsa smaller, this i say,
an i really need the money,
anyway:)
So ya worried that ya crazy,
but like me, ya mostly sane,
an ya thoughts a little hazy,
but ya really feel ok,
so take a look in the mirror,
and tell the bugger, coming nearer,
that its really got indigestion,
needs another hugger, yes today,
and sanity is not the poets way,
inspirations dog is yapping,
and the sparrows ever tapping,
birds are flopping flapping,
poor ole johnson's yapping
inner sanity is how the poet plays...
Don Johnson
Vienna,
The loon's in tune with the largest moon,
entertainment, hopes arising,
insanitys voice does sweetly croon,
her words so hypnotising,
a loon sometimes surprising:)
this poet thing is normal,
looney tunes installed, worm in all,
the rattle of the brain box,
mystifying in its way,
no need to bloody worry ,
just suck upon ya curry,
poetic lunatics are bloody here to stay...
Tony mate,
How i see it little mate,
who am i to gesticulate:)
using both sides of the brain,
ricocheting thoughts svelte in train,
dummy does his little trix,
sometimes seems a loonatic,
but that's the poet's price...
INTER - NATION PRONUNCIATION
My transatlantic friend’s adored
We reach across the ocean
Communications although flawed
Won’t lessen my devotion
She looks pure and sweet indeed
With fair visage clear although her
Voice as if she’s just smoked weed
With pitch half octave lower
Though we’re sharing the same lingo
And her presence makes me glad
There’s a problem here by jingo
For her words can make me sad
When my health is on the mend
And that makes me glad or gladder
This assertion she’ll extend:-
‘You’re looking so much badder’
I guess to her my accent’s shot
And sounds as if it’s such that
I will say ‘the weather’s hot - what what!’
And not rhyme it with ‘hat’
But we’ll muddle through so that
We resolve all our confusions
Just distinguish ‘bet’ from ‘bat’
Avert risking grave contusions
.................
If we temperate our scoff or is it scoff
We need never call the whole thing off
Unstoppable
(Chorus)
I'm on it ,on it
Yeah a mission
Got to see, my own vision
Make a decision, running out of time
The clocks keeps ticking and then it tocks
Doesn't mean you have to
Keep on grinding stay on your hustle
God will give it to you
Back in double
(Verse 1)
When it comes to reaching
I won't stop (wont stop )
Until I reach the top p (top)
Never wanted success badder
I'm climbing up the ladder
Nothing or no one in my way, there's so much more to say
But I'll just remain gracious and humble
When it feels like a royal rumble
1st , 2nd,3rd keep it coming
I'm right here, tired of running
Crossing out things that's optional
(Chorus)
I'm on it ,on it
Yeah a mission
Got to see, my own vision
Make a decision, running out of time
The clocks keeps ticking and then it tocks
Doesn't mean you have to
Keep on grinding stay on your hustle
God will give it to you
Back in double
(Verse2)
This song right here for the go getters
Also motivates the quitters
You can do what you want in life
It's up to you
Be the stick,hold up like glue
Keep it going everyday
Wake up with it,keep the faith
Put some heart into it
Let it flow, and if that's not what you about
Then let it go
Sign your signature on your passion overflow
When you're unstoppable that's the way to go
Unstoppable
(Chorus)
I'm on it ,on it
Yeah a mission
Got to see, my own vision
Make a decision, running out of time
The clocks keeps ticking and then it tocks
Doesn't mean you have to
Keep on grinding stay on your hustle
God will give it to you
Back in double
Repeat until Chorus fades
Written by:Concettahardnett
6/26/2016