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An anticlimactic sexual event... with Barb Black née Beebee to help set the ghost of little Willy Brandt free (a non German, but germane fellow courtesy Craigslist classified personals of mine invitee she replied, I took liberty to Google her first and last name, and risked calling mentioning, she qualified as lucky nominee meaning yours truly hanker for a barenaked lady to indulge libidinal orgasmic spree, (ahem - no pun intended) in layman's terms to make whoopie! Years ago, an outing with paramour went awry lower gastrointestinal system of the down did not comply dear reader let these lines hopefully edify and entertain courtesy garden variety generic guy, who strives to tickle your fancy to jollify cause yours truly tries humor that's no lie and if receptive to give feedback please notify author of these words who in actuality counts himself a private-eye. Picture the opening scene Cumberland Farms - in Coatesville, Pennsylvania, the paramour and I purchase lunch; she bought the two Italian hoagies and drinks, one for me and the other for her. Upon arriving back at boudoir place of courtesan, we inherently, immediately, got down to monkey business; each of us carefully unwrapped our respective submarine; Between mouthfuls of deli meat and cheese, (the latter a substance that triggered nascent irritable bowel syndrome), I suppressed grimaces of abdominal agony, which facial contortions overrode attempts at non verbal foreplay. The rapid fire acting power of dairy product moved bowels of mine faster than The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. Despite frequent record breaking sprints to the bathroom nothing would forsake golden opportunity to indulge philandering bacchanalian adultery. Sexual intercourse the farthest thought in my mind, yet I ignored queasiness, and feigned interest, no matter intuition vis a vis gurgly tummy signaled warning against engaging in frolicsome escapade, nevertheless Casanova wannabe succumbed to arrange himself in concert with his mistress two times the ninth highest prime number. Woody pecker of mine (a fine specimen male organ she highly touted, praised, and notated courtesy the woman, whose presence I honorably graced) perhaps interpreted and intimated as a fervent desire to rut (despite lady of the night having undergone tubal ligation years before our initial close encounters of the illicit kind took place at Evansburg Park, where after at least a decade of being celibate, I experienced premature ejaculation and soiled my underwear, which super seminal glue seals a stronger bond than another tried and true rigged with mortise and tenon. A mortise and tenon joint connects two pieces of wood or other material. Woodworkers around the world used it for thousands of years to join pieces of wood, mainly when the adjoining pieces connect at right angles. Mortise and tenon joints count as strong and stable joints used in many projects. Now lemme loop back to aforementioned plight to sorry state of affairs that found me plagued with an overactive internal anal sphincter (IAS) and external anal sphincter (EAS); The internal anal sphincter (IAS) forms the innermost muscular layer of the anal canal and is a continuation of the circular muscle of the rectum and ends with a pronounced rounded edge 1 to 1.5 cm caudal to the dentate line and slightly cranial to the terminus of the external anal sphincter (EAS).

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