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Counting Seconds-The Rewrite
i sit lonely. the crowded restaurant is thick with sound i pick away at it moving back into the stagnant silence of my own comfort the air is nasty here it telepathically abuses my thought patterns still a far cry better the loud hum of food marching to the vacant crowd suffocates me a decorated plate joins my table strikes a conversation with the cutlery there is no call from the governor as i attack my food fork knife teeth bites later a paper plane flies in a swipe of my plastic makes quick work of the bill i exit seemingly quicker than human eyes can catch i hate this part i parley my way through too many bodies all the while staring at a concrete maze never making eye contact with a single soul i do that i always do that keep the entrances of my being away from those who would stare me down attempt to engage me in conversation with a desire to lock eyes if they looked in they would burn i’d be held responsible FINALLY home the only environment i feel safe in my therapist will be proud almost an hour today assuming i see her again i am covered in my own dew my breathing sporadic i line up an array of pills like good soldiers as i continue my attempt survive another day it will take hours to regain my sanity all the while questioning the purpose why must i assimilate back into the dungeons they call society it behooves me find one reason join the rank and file plug back into a horrendous grid i had escaped i grow weary of my own thoughts ignore my voice slowly regain my footing plant roots hope they’ll take hold attempt to return into the vacuum of my existence i sit lonely.
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Book: Reflection on the Important Things