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Such a beautiful morning 
So quiet and serene 
Contented and yawning
I'm living the dream.
I lie back in my deckchair 
Emitting a contented sigh 
When landing on my chest from nowhere 
Came an exquisite butterfly. 

The butterfly landed upon my hairy chest 
I looked at it’s exquisite beauty it really was the best 
It nestled in quite gently then fluttered in the air 
When a beautiful young lady came running past my chair 
She really scored a perfect ten - my jaw was open wide 
I wanted nothing more than to have this beauty by my side 
I stood and showed my great physique and strutted round with pride 
I wanted this lady for myself one day she'd be my bride 

The butterfly heard my heart beating so strong 
It lifted its gossamer wings and the butterfly was gone 
As if giving thanks to my exquisite guest 
I caress the spot where he came to rest 
Whispering my gratitude for him revealing to me 
The beautiful face of my bride to be 
Now he danced on her breast and she wasn't wearing a bra 
What jammy gits those butterflies are. 



Our hearts beat fast and they entwined 
We went to a restaurant and wined and dined 
It was a special moment I didn’t want to miss 
For there we shared our very first kiss 
One thing lead to another and we headed to my room 
I grabbed my little blue pill – I wanted va va vroom 
This stunning young lady pulled me swiftly to her chest 
I could feel her heart beating underneath her thermal vest 


Ok Daz I'll put you through your paces 
Suspend you from the lampshade by your braces 
Set you bouncing then i'll slip under 
but was it worth it I'm starting to wonder 
All that gossip is just idle chatter 
I have to inform you, size does matter 
When I agreed to this afternoon of sin 
I never thought I'd ask , is it in ? 


But Jan sweetheart, Please hear my rebuttal 
That wasn't my willy, Just my belt buckle 
Now I'm determined you will feel my passion 
Flip you over and we'll do it doggie fashion 
A contented smile replaces the scowling 
The janitor rings, Will you two stop howling? 
We are perfect together but I know after tonight 
There is just no way you can get married in white.

 
Oh Darren my darling forgive me I pray 
I’m not after marriage, just a roll in the hay 
I’m sorry if you were after any more 
But after a few days I’ll find you a bore 
Come back to bed and let us not linger 
You now know I don’t want a ring on my finger 
I hate to feel you have been mislead 
Lets just have a little more fun in this bed 

Just like a man I'm becoming possessive 
In pursuit of my goal I'm vain and aggressive 
Wishing to own you to declare you are mine 
Wanting a wife not a concubine 
Not seeing the faults and the change in me 
I take your hand and fall on one knee 
Presenting the ring I bought from EBAY 
We can marry next week Jan, What do you say. 


Oh Darren in you I must confide 
I can never ever be your bride 
Although you think my name is Jan 
Before the op my name was Stan 
I thought I really must confess 
Before our lives become a mess 
I think we have reached the journeys end 
I will never forget you my handsome young friend 

By Jan Allison and Darren Watson
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