Dirty Limerick Poems

Now this is my definition of love
It's much like wrestling in the mud
You get down and dirty
And say things quite flirty
Then it all comes together...

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At noon, I heard what sounded like a pop
It continued all eve, and wouldn't stop
Now, it sounds like a peep
Aha! More like a beep
I am...

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That week was the farmer’s convention
Their ladies at home sought attention
Twas Valentine’s night
Thought I’d do alright
I had quite a naughty intention

The farmer’s young wife caught...

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I once had a buddy named Bob
He was an unbearable slob
I pressed him a suit
And dressed him up cute
He dirtied it quickly, the knob....

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Jack doesn't smile 24/7, sometimes he's a mean old grouch
So Cathie says, “till you're happy again, go sit on the couch!”
He mumbles and sneers
A spoiled...

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Patsy was tattered and torn
Her clothes were all dirty and worn
She was a mess
In her threadless dress
People looked at her in scorn...

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If I go missing, my picture should be posted
on a beer bottle in Jenna's saloon, toasted
by all my loyal friends
A tale that never ends
About the...

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Republicans have a grand cause:
Exonerate all of Trump's flaws
But voters said, "Nix!"
To Trump's dirty tricks
By rejecting his Doctor Oz!...

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Parents give teachers dirty looks
They don't want students reading books
Why flip your lid?
Kids never did!
Its much more fun to learn from crooks!...

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Mating Calls, or, Purdy Please!
Limericks by Michael R. Burch

1.
Nine-thirty? Feeling flirty (and, indeed, a trifle dirty),
I decided to ring prudish Eleanor Purdy ...
When I rang...

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There was an old barfly named Girty,
Her body and breath filthy and dirty,
She'd stink up the place
With no shame on her face 
While she farted...

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 He got down from the train with baggage
Walked out through a dirty soiled passage
His attention was captured
By a bold lettered Placard;
‘KEEP THE TOWN CLEAN’...

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When Dick’s testosterone escalated, 
His balance had to be regulated;
His wife tried tricks she knew,
Until he passed it through -
Dick’s manly ego, hugely deflated. 

May...

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Limericks VIII plus one Lead-In Poem



Updated Advice to Amorous Bachelors
by Michael R. Burch

At six-thirty,
feeling flirty,
I put on the hurdy-gurdy ...

But Ms. Purdy,
all alert-y,
kicked me where...

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If you would like to have your limerick(s) posted, soup mail them to me.

Ms. Rude is still writing her snide remarks
She sounds like a mad...

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