Some Banking Hanky Panky

A sweet young bank teller named Doris Had a crush on her co-worker, Boris. But one day while at work The young clerk went berserk When she caught Boris banging the manager, Morris. Doris' secret admirer, Dan Danson, Was swarthy, tall, and roguishly handsome. But the next day while at work, This clerk, too, went berserk, Took an ATM hostage and held it for ransom. Dan was embarrassed, didn't want to be caught, And was going to shut himself up in the vault, But Boris told him to run, While Morris called 9-1-1, And Doris flatly declared that it wasn't her fault. When the S.W.A.T. team arrived on the scene, They found everything calm and serene. Boris told the S.W.A.T. captain that Dan Had taken both Doris and Morris' van And fled with the cash from the money machine. Doris' version, when caught, was more exculpatory And dripping with details more lurid than gory. She'd plotted with Dan to create this diversion To rescue her from that den of perversion, And now Boris, and Morris, and Doris, and Dan Are suing each other for the rights to the story.