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if only you knew

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If only you knew contest sponsored by Silent one (Hms) 05/14/24

if depth goes over not under one’s head ~ is this point clearly misread flailing wildly inside a cloud ~ the fog blinds again but rumours spread not lies far worse my friend ~ it’s true i don’t know if i’m alive or dead

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Sand Blown

Date: 5/23/2024 4:56:00 PM

....good't one......depth of time varies in the mind.....we've drowned in it : ) .......stan

David Kavanagh
Date: 5/24/2024 4:03:00 AM

Ain’t that the truth Stan, drowning in the depths of our own mind, doesn’t get any easier even with time, cheers David

Paula Goldsmith

Date: 5/19/2024 1:08:00 PM

Congratulations on your win. I enjoyed reading your creative Monoku writes. Enjoy your day, enjoy your win..................

David Kavanagh
Date: 5/20/2024 10:36:00 AM

Thank you Paula you’re far too kind, cheers David

Silent One

Date: 5/19/2024 11:14:00 AM

Great three monokus.. i was expecting at least six.. Congratulations on your placement in the contest..

David Kavanagh
Date: 5/20/2024 10:35:00 AM

Thanks S.O. I think these 3 say more than 6 ever could, great contest prompt, cheers David

Buhagiar Victor

Date: 5/16/2024 9:58:00 AM

You explore the ways of life. Well written. Best for a win.

David Kavanagh
Date: 5/16/2024 10:33:00 AM

Someone’s got to do it Victor, thanks so much, cheers David

I Am Anaya

Date: 5/16/2024 4:56:00 AM

The humor and play on words out of this world in the first Monoku/Monorhyme. A state of mind which explores contemplation in different avenues, is always worth its weight in gold. One's own therapy, self-help, keeps the brain young and strong! Good for a win in my mind~

David Kavanagh
Date: 5/16/2024 6:42:00 AM

(If only you knew) is a great prompt to take us into the recesses of our imagination Anaya, especially the existential part, once I got the first Monoku done, ironically I could see the bigger picture emerge in the cloud, but was caught between two different endings, see comment to Dilly below, hopefully it gets a placement, but I think S.O. prefers the longer poems, was good fun writing this one nonetheless, thanks so much for your insightful, and golden comment, cheers David

Daniel Henry Rodgers

Date: 5/15/2024 5:31:00 AM

Dear David, Your poetic exploration of the depths of existential uncertainty and the imagery of flailing within the obscuring fog, grappling with the fundamental question of one's state of being—alive or deceased—unveils the raw vulnerability of the human condition. I loved how your deft wordplay and metaphorical layers invite introspection on the most profound of inquiries. Your artistry in capturing the essence of this journey is truly remarkable. - Blessings, Daniel

David Kavanagh
Date: 5/15/2024 8:55:00 AM

Thanks so much Daniel, I do ponder if death will be an illusion of sorts, from my pov I can’t be aware of it when dead, but can definitely feel and experience it while alive. Some paradox eh, but always one worth inquiring if only to release those inner demons, and of course like you said playing around with words and metaphorical layers can be therapeutic in itself, always appreciate your expert analysis, cheers David

Di11y Da11y

Date: 5/14/2024 11:09:00 PM

I don't know how you do it David, such soul bearing but written with insight and strength. You have got right to the heart of the prompt 'If only you knew' to deliver a behind the scenes glimpse into the 'sometimes' of the perpetual thinker.

David Kavanagh
Date: 5/15/2024 1:03:00 AM

Heya Dilly, it’s best we try bear our souls otherwise feel like something is left behind and unsaid, you do it all the time! I originally had a different but much deeper last line about pouring cold water over the dead, (me) to try feel alive, but could be interpreted as duplicitous, so went with this more direct one, the prompt I took literally and went with it, I am a perpetual thinker and non thinker all at once, thanks so much for your beautiful comment, cheers David

Sara Etgen-Baker

Date: 5/14/2024 5:16:00 PM

a thought provoking read, David. Sometimes life and it's challenges can create vulnerability to the degree that I don't know if I'm alive or dead....vulnerability kind of 'numbs' me...if that makes sense. Have a great evening, Sara

David Kavanagh
Date: 5/15/2024 12:48:00 AM

Heya Sara, it makes perfect sense, perhaps too much sense, and that is indeed part of the message in my monoku, I know these ones are difficult reading for some, but life can be vulnerable and numbing all at once, thanks so much, cheers David