Fun With Puns

My friend - I’ll call her Brandi - asked where do you get all your candy? I said you may find this hard to believe, but I always keep a few Twix up my sleeve. I read about buccaneers in history books, And I thought where did pirates get their hooks? Later, while researching various folklores, The answer came to me: second hand stores! My friend, who is a soothsayer, told me never to date tennis players. I thought this advice was really a gem, because love means absolutely nothing to them! It really is a bummer when people say age is just a number. I think it’s totally absurd. Age is clearly a word! My mother gave me kisses and hugs and told me just say no to drugs. Now, this is just a guess, but if I’m talking to drugs, then I think I’ve said yes. My ENT specialist, Doctor Jeff, told me that I was going deaf. About this - let me be clear - the news was hard for me to hear. While living on the shores of Avalon, I ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon. Their arrival, however, was very slow. Which came first? I’ll let you know.