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11/6/2020 2:36:30 AM
Michael Ponnambalam Posts: 1
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Please kindly give me your High Critique Feedback on my poem below. Thanks.
M.J. Ponnambalam
A Conversation with Corona Virus Rhyme: Lines 1&2, 3&4. Rhythm: Trochaic tetrameter. i.e., Each line as: BAH-bah BAH-bah BAH-bah BAH-bah
Stanzas 1) “Hi, Corona, thy name means crown. But all thy deeds in pain us drown. Many losing jobs, homes and hope, Are not sure how they now will cope.
2) For months schools and colleges closed, For us many problems have posed. Online class is not fun, my friend. Good if soon it comes to an end.
3) Deaths one million by September. Scary number to remember! Why hast thou become a killer? Please, leave us, mad graveyard filler!”
4) “I am only a messenger. Neither killer, nor avenger. Many see me as an evil. But the wise will see my goodwill.
5) God, your great and loving Father, Sees you drifting from Him farther. Fun and entertainment centered, You are now much conscience blunted.
6) Money you chase; but not wisdom, Depth in spirit, or God’s Kingdom. With your science and tech power, You think you're a mighty tower.
7) God sent me to help you to see Powerless how you are. Hence flee From all your sins. Follow God’s way. Then I'll fly away, as you say.”
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