For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
7/10/2019 4:04:18 AM
Euni- verse
Posts: 6
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It Was Just Another Ordinary Day
It was just another ordinary day
Scattered notes are all over the place
Drums trying to maintain a certain beat
Guitars either strumming or singing
Violins studying their scales and arpeggios
The piano pouring out its player’s soul
Clarinets and flutes blowing out harmonies
A mesmerizing vocal cuts through
A white butterfly flutters freely
Basking in the building’s flowing melodies
Students rushing in and out of the cafeteria
Sheet music in their hands while eating
Leaves of variant colors fall from the trees
The wind blows in one direction
Compensating for the scorching hot sun
Taking turns as nature takes its usual course
Old friends reconcile and greet each other
Re-living past memories and narrating the present
Speaking of profound concepts within their discourse
Anyone overhearing may be left confused
It was just another ordinary day
Scattered notes are all over the place
Many things happening all at once
Yet the resonant music remained unnerved
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7/12/2019 1:00:16 PM
Victoria Hunter
Posts: 4
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Hello! I want to start by saying, good job on focusing on having images in your poem, although you can break the rule and throw in an abstract noun if you want. I want to start with a few poetry lessons, I have learned in school. A poem is an event, usually focused on the end resolve. Here is an example from one my poems I wrote as homework for a poetry class, that impressed the teacher and other students. "I tasted the season of aged skin." What i am about to suggest next, is probably going to shock you, but I assure you, it will work. I have used this process, to write some of my best work, that have got published and placed in contest or featured. This will help you work to not be so predictable, to have slant and be a surprise as you write it. To start, don't think of writing big. A good example is of a lesson I read once, in which is says, that you don't write about the entire war, you write about something left over from the war. Here is the step that will shocked you. I recommend that you first catalog your poem, that you tear your poem apart, and collect the words and make a catalog of them. I have a course I am opening soon, that teaches poets how to use a process, that involves catalog, to complete a publishable original poem. After you have created a catalog, I recommend noting what event or theme you are writing on, and what leading questions you want to answer. This is going to be your outline. I have complete classes in poetry, including two poetry mentorships. I am sharing a bit of what I have learned. As you revise, remember poetry takes leaps, so don't be afraid to allow your stanzas to leap to eachother, and most of all don't forget that poetry is suppose to arouse pleasure. I apologize for the typos...et, my time is very limited, because I am on a speeding reading deadline, and finalizing my book. Keep posting for critique, and you will grow very fast:0).
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7/17/2019 12:27:37 AM
Euni- verse
Posts: 6
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Hi Victoria! Thank you very much. I actually just wrote this on the fly. Will do take your pieces of advice and try to apply them on my future works (and probably edit some of my finished ones). 
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7/17/2019 8:01:54 PM
Edmund Strempfl
Posts: 10
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As I'm new here, and still trying to navigate onsite, would like directions as to getting critique on my poetry for poems by eddySTREMPFL maybe starting with the first one MENTAL ILLNESS
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7/18/2019 7:42:27 PM
Euni- verse
Posts: 6
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Hi Eddy! You can simply start a thread of your own and type down the poem you want critiqued
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7/22/2019 9:12:10 AM
Victoria Hunter
Posts: 4
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You are welcomed! I am sorry were you asking for indepth critique, because it seems you aren't looking for it, for this poem, and have your mind made up on keeping it as it is. That is just what I got from your response. I am not sure why you say you will take it on your future work. You do not need to keep a piece of work as is, cause it was written spontaneously. A poem is always in progress. Great work comes from reworking, sometimes tearing it up and making it new, as well, trimming alot of it away and adding new stuff. Let me give you an example. My poem "In A Mirror" which was published by Bluehole Print Magazine and selected to be in a festival, I wrote on the fly as well, meaning as a pantser but still writing on purpose, (no creative mind dumping. There is a difference) but I ended up taking out an entire stanza, and like two more lines. I am not sure why you don't feel my critique was useful for this particular poem, if so, I would love to know why. That is the idea I am getting from your response. I could of given you a more indepth critique, and showing you what I actually meant, and with suggestions, but then that would take away from you experiencing it for yourself. It is your write of course, and I wish you success in writing. What I have shared with you, is what I have learned from several courses in poetry, include two poetry mentorships at the poetry kit online:0). It is very valuable information. I hope you enjoy using it, and others who read my post:0). PS, if you edit your work using my suggesting, would you be willing to share it with the group, I would love to read your revised version:0)
edited by Victoria Hunter on 7/22/2019
edited by Victoria Hunter on 7/22/2019
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7/29/2019 5:30:34 AM
Euni- verse
Posts: 6
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Oh, I didn't mean it that way. What I meant by my response was I would apply it in this particular poem and to many others I will be writing in the future. I greatly appreciate your suggestion and found it very useful, especially for this one. Would definitely let you know once I get to revise this poem! 
edited by Kazuha777 on 7/29/2019
edited by Kazuha777 on 7/29/2019
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