Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
5/24/2011 10:46:41 PM
Earle Brown Posts: 3
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Edited version:
A shadow in a photo, in a magazine; a thread in the meta-theme. Reality is a curiously quilted thing spun from umbilical, arcane, skeins, spooled and fuzzing in the dreams of the sleeping god- on the frayed end of an evolutionary rope ladder. A biped refusing to put on a tie, leaves, footprints like peppermints on the pillows of imagination, like some mysterious housekeeper making bed time stories. The fairy tale told by a hair in my salad. I believe in you as I do kitchen staffs.
There are way too many commas; for the unintellectual reader it is hard to find the rhetorical purpose of the write. edited by Change on 5/24/2011 edited by Change on 5/24/2011
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5/26/2011 1:42:13 PM
Earle Brown Posts: 3
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I love the write; it is captivating and unique. I was talking about the commas.
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