Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
9/19/2017 5:49:44 PM
Dylan OB Posts: 2
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@page { margin: 0.79in } p { margin-bottom: 0.1in; line-height: 120% } (all one stanza, copy/pasted form LibreOffice) This is the first poem I've written in a long time and it was written fast and there are probably a lot of things wrong with it, so I kept it short.
My blood is boiling And I am frozen still Freezing in fire with an available escape An illusion of choice Ambition wreaks in the air But never touches a single hair of mine It’s not fair Stuck in place As nothing but an absolute disgrace Forever wondering why I’m wandering yet witnessing why every single day It’s not fair It’s not okay edited by IrisK on 9/19/2017
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9/19/2017 8:03:17 PM
Jessica Jones Posts: 5
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Absolutely beautiful. The only things i notice needing critiquing is the part about freezing in fire and also I'm not sure if you meant to put wrecks instead of reeks. Might've been misspelled or you may have meant to put wrecks. For the freezing in fire(in my most humblest opinion) I would put something like sweltering instead of freezing or scorching, blistering, searing, etc...
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