Poetry Forum

Arjun,

This is a very strong poem. It ultimately questions: what is it to be civilized?

The poem challenges colonialist pride, and shows how pride can easily lead to evil that does great harm to others. The poem questions the philosophy of what makes something the enemy. The poem illustrates how making enemies of others is a downfall for oneself and leads to harming others.

It makes the gentleman a symbol of pride, of being civilized, then shows them applauding death, destruction, and barbarism.

The question: what's good about making corpses? is very strong.

Juxtaposing the stars in the sky with the corpses on the ground is an extremely strong poetic image.

The english does need work, but no problem. You can take it to someone that knows English well and work with them. The english is not the poem. The images, contemplation, how things are arranged are the poem, and you've done it very well.

If you have not already written this in Hindi, write it in Hindi to make sure you have a copy of the ideas, images, arrangement just as you like, that way you do not forget. Then, work on the English with a tutor or friend. No problem. Very good.

It is good you are writing about life, about the world. Poet-journalist. This is good. Too many people write about themselves; an unfortunate western habit.