Poetry Forum

Bob_Atkinson - all messages by user

7/8/2014 9:45:57 PM
What do you consider "Not a poem" ?	Mr Hsu, Poetry was sung thousands of years before it was spoken. Form is irrelevant. I've defined Poetry as "the Emotional Content of Literature." If it's emotional, it's Poetry. If it's informative only, it's Prose. Bob
7/8/2014 9:49:46 PM
poetry forms	Form is irrelevant Wesley. Does the writing have emotional content? If yes, it's poetry, if no, it's prose.
8/16/2014 9:13:09 AM
EDGAR ALLAN POE!!!!	NO MO POE ! Believe Poe has destroyed the integrity of American Poetry. Look at the results of his work. Look at what's being produced today. In my book, it's his fault, he's responsible for this mess. Bob_Atkinson on 8/16/2014 edited by Bob_Atkinson on 8/16/2014
9/24/2014 11:39:11 PM
Lady	Nice collection there Gabe of trite phrases and cliche's
9/26/2014 10:04:15 PM
Some missing masterpieces!	"To___" (Poe)........................no mo poe, please I heed not that my earthly lot.........the word "that" is redundant. (used 4 times, poor form) Hath little of Earth in it,..................the word "it" shouldn't be used, (vague, no meaning) That years of love have been forgot ..........the verb "to be" in all it's forms verboten In the hatred of a minute:..........the word "the" shouldn't be used at all, (laziness) I mourn not that the desolate ......."that, the" no no's Are happier, sweet, than I, ......verb "to be (are) verboten But that you sorrow for my fate.....there's "that" again Who am a passer-by...........the verb "to be" (am) again, verboten
10/1/2014 9:26:54 AM
writers block	To reduce writer's block one could treat every poem as a training exercise, not production. Use the brainstorming technique of doing it only for the practice. Later, you can self-criticize, edit, ponder, but never care about the quality of what you're producing while writing. This lets you become creative without blocks, turning the blank page into reams of productive content.
10/1/2014 9:34:30 AM
"the voices"	MrMojoRisin wrote: hear the voices calling whistling through the trees .... counted the word "the" 6 times, should be used rarely. they say aloud ..... "they?" who's they? to the gathering crowd ....dump the "the" take to the open sea ....dump the the" .... "sea?" what sea? trite phrase the voices are growing louder .... "the" dump it we must be getting close .... "we?" who's we? their shrieks and cheers ... "their?" .... who's they? put a ring in my ears .... "ring in my ears" .... trite phrase its time to silence these ghosts .... "its" .... don't you mean it's? the voices are deadly silent .... dump the "the".... deadly silent ... trite phrase never to be heard again .... trite phrase i took to the sea ... sea? what sea.... in a boat? swim? they spoke unto me ...."they?" who's they needing no more then a friend .....then should be than edited by Bob_Atkinson on 10/1/2014
10/1/2014 6:56:23 PM
To become a writer....	Thank you Karlin for my comfort in not being a great or good writer edited by Bob_Atkinson on 10/1/2014
10/4/2014 1:57:49 PM
I rage to the wind	Gabe, trite phrases (rage to the wind....howls...song) really don't add much. Have a problem, myself, with winging poems which don't require research adding to the reader's knowledge base. Also, "the, it (used 4 times), and" need to be taken out of this poem, (words that shouldn't be used in poetry). What's left when you do this? Not much. What's left when you leave them in? ditto. Regards, Bob
10/7/2014 10:23:59 AM
Flowers of Poverty	Remember Horst, poverty is poverty of purpose, not poverty of cash. Those without purpose live in poverty. If you've no money, then grab a broom and sweep the sidewalk, grab a wash basin and on your knees, scrub the floor. Do this and you've purpose, have eliminated poverty in your life. Sit on the couch and brood, you've no purpose and are living in poverty, no matter how much money you have.
10/12/2014 3:06:46 AM
New poet	RhymeRoyalty wrote: This may seem like a silly question but I've been wondering if I could use profanity or is that something that users try to stray away from?? Profanity precludes your writing from being read in school by K-12 students. Profanity degrades the institution of poetry, should be avoided if you wish your writings to become part of posterity. Instead, suggest you work on purpose, something quite rare in these halls. Bob
10/12/2014 5:37:54 PM
New poet	Gerald, you just took Poetry Soup away from the kids in school. Now, because of you the Baracuda web filters will keep the kids away from us. Please delete your poems.
10/18/2014 4:18:37 PM
What's wrong? Brutality is ok if well-intentioned!	Shawn, nice poetic technique, although have a problem with the premise that those who fight in wars are supported by the deity. Those who kill in the name of religion are Godless, or don't you know?
10/23/2014 10:05:40 PM
The Battle of Borodino - by Bob Atkinson	Written about an historical event, but applies to today's events also. the Battle of Borodino - by Bob Atkinson fever drove the want of battle to provoke the emperor again this time driving into mother Russia intent upon conquering them then causing him to stretch his lines more so than prudent or wise driving army forces controlled deep into plains for endless miles the star of world salvation sits blindly on the hill watching men die horrible deaths while picking at a meal attacks toward those supply strings drew armies ever smaller sapping growth of forces endangering assaulting soldiers sickness and diseases thinned lines of the proudest soldiers that followed his directions exactly within shadows of mindless orders the star of world salvation sits blindly on the hill watching men die horrible deaths his heart filled with thrills defeat, not an option he believed in his self worth ideals of the purest nature set his followers to conquer worlds Spain, as had been seen saw his army's strengths fighting those who saw his shadow as something of a giant's hand the star of world salvation sits blindly on the hill watching men die horrible deaths for his fame and his ideals now in this larger land where rules were made without the same forces of good and evil that caused such strange results they viewed his hand as not benign but threatening to engulf centuries of established order set up by older sons and daughters thoughts of these imperial leaders within the borders of the north were those of the mother protecting what has been born from attacks of wild animals those who hungered for the meat within the population gold, silver and political scores all threatened by the conquest of many villages and towns who spoke the Russian tongue and left their leaders astounded the star of world salvation sits blindly on the hill watching men die horrible deaths onward marching still the endless plains and open range that Napoleon couldn't leave alone gave to him supply lines both stretched so thin and broken was his head that exploded in a firestorm of demolition expanding workings of the legion which had many victories commanded the star of world salvation sits blindly on the hill watching men die horrible deaths prestige his only thrill gambles made to engulf all cultures which competed with the force of mighty right which he embraced and ever pleaded heartless in his approach to doctrine making fear his motto for life selling cheaply the lives of men who followed him with such driven pride the star of world salvation sits blindly on the hill watching men die horrible deaths on the battle fields against all enemies of the righteous which they imagined as imperfect lives felt fate had given them the simple right to genocide ideals, moral strength of thought and usefulness of purpose were sound reasons for violence upon those foreign persons the star of world salvation sits blindly on the hill watching men die horrible deaths without much shame or guilt theirs was the cause to propel man to a higher plane of liberty and justice within the French domain that man had engaged before no feelings of remorse in carrying out this war of ideals upon those foreign shores leaves one now not in control of why this siege began how could a half million men allow themselves to be damned causing so much life to shed from the earth's round skin dying deaths of violence for the madness of one man the star of world salvation sits blindly on the hill watching men die horrible deaths his pockets yet to fill with gold of the conquest with riches of lands good wealth with titles to be bestowed upon those favored men sickness, starvation and pestilence became so commonplace that ranks of fine soldiers began to dissipate marching in formation dressed as gentlemen flying flags of false hope of Russian victories again the star of world salvation sits blindly on the hill watching men die horrible deaths while he counts new claims within the boundries of his new lands to be won with blood of those who'd fight for his name and pride false liberty exposed with scarfs, hats and belts of leather banners flying for the pride of men in ranks who lifted eyes to the victory of their own side powder brought for their guns screaming shots into the ranks of those who stood to oppose the advance of so many pompous gents imposing upon those who made a living tilling land for crops the will of a foreign leader whom their lives he thought not of the star of world salvation sits blindly on the hill watching men die horrible deaths insensitive, no inner feelings he commanded respect of his men fighting for his own side because of pride and sacrament for which they'd give their lives by control of their thoughts within the martial ways as drums and fifes and marching songs carried them to their early graves now he sits there sulking one leg upon a drum asking silly questions such as this one: “why?” why does my army not advance? why do we seem to be losing strength to opposition with every cannon's scream? why do we not kill them all? why do we not prevail? ours is the cause that is supreme life's nose, not its tail... my army has met its match? of this I cannot believe no form now in our lines are we really in retreat? no, now we seem to hold steady have them on the run but with my glass I can count one dead for each two advancing some say it was victory some say it was the end of this brash and useless move to conquer fellow men arizona-poet.blogspot.com/2012/01/battle-of-borodino-by-bob-atkinson.html
10/27/2014 5:52:06 AM
What's wrong? Brutality is ok if well-intentioned!	"... Wit employed in dressing up obscenity is like the art used in painting a corpse: it may be thus rendered tolerable to one sense, but fails not quickly to offend some other ..." Oliver Goldsmith edited by Bob_Atkinson on 10/27/2014
11/10/2014 9:57:21 PM
Question about posting new poetry on Poetry Soup	You nailed a problem with the poetry establishment. Imagine if a radio station wouldn't play a song that had been played on another station. How can we allow these clowns to keep poetry down without letting them have it. Let's re-adjust our acceptance of these sites who won't promote poetry in the best manner. Send me a poem, I'll publish it, Google: Poetry Critic.
12/14/2014 1:31:41 PM
i get alot of reads but hardly any feedback...	1. Has nothing to offer new. 2. Made some notes. 7 "the's" rewrite to drop them all. 2 "it's" rewrite to drop them. .....5 verb "to be's" rewrite to drop them. 3. See Kris Kristofferson's "to Beat the Devil." If you talk, but nobody listens, should you keep talking? Kris thinks you should. 4. Do 10,000 people cheer when you read it to them? If not, rewrite it. 5. Did you research the poem, adding knowledge of a subject to the reader's experience? 6. Did you say anything worthwhile, or just produce trite garbage? 7. Take each poem as a lesson, not something produced of value. 8. Add purpose, it's thin. Keep writing......Bob ahabdoes the white whale call youas it does to myselfsilent at first but truetill in your soul it's wealth,my life is a fervent chaseacross the understanding of godthere to that empty spacewhere the tangles of sin are shod,i plunged my desire burninginto flesh to the boneall while death is yearningholding open the gate to home,so that there is only the needto own,to destroy and thenthe desire of the greedthat will rise again.
12/15/2014 7:23:43 PM
18 Stoic Faces - by Bob Atkinson	Graphite, thank you for your Poezian comments. Appreciated. Trying here to say that there's poetry ignored by the current establishment which dogs the genre greatly, and has to be gotten rid of. Poe, Ginsberg et al. Eagles Band has consistently drawn 10,000 plus @greater than $200/seat, while "poetry" readings draw zilch for themselves. We need to change direction, (see my critique of Poe's "Annie" by Google search for poetry critic. Regards, Bob Atkinson
12/16/2014 8:45:01 AM
18 Stoic Faces - by Bob Atkinson	graphitedrug wrote: teachers begin classes telling students to take notes because human minds only remember so much. Try cutting back a bit. OK, here Graphite is where Poe and I differ widely. Poe said you shouldn't write epic poetry because of the short attention span people have. What would you think of a radio station that only plays a particular song once, and NEVER plays a song played on another radio station? Well, our poetry establishment always requires that the poem has never been published elsewhere. Stupid, isn't it? To be fully enjoyed, poems must be read over and over, and for this to happen, they have to be good, not grating. I don't write poems, I explore ways for poetry to have purpose. Keep your eyes on this column, going soon to rebut Poe's diatribe on poetry point by point. Regards, Bob Atkinson
12/16/2014 12:58:15 PM
Please critique this poem, it made me write it!	Kate, Edgar Allan Poe agreed with you. I, on the other hand, agree with Homer. One believed poetry to be an Art, the other a discipline equal to art, science, medicine, engineering, history, psychology, sociology, and others, thereby combining elements of all disciplines into one useful endeavor moving humanity forward in the evolutionary cycle.
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