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11/4/2023 6:34:47 AM tom pickering Posts: 6	Syllable counter shows: 8 6 10 7 7 7 7 6 An uneven count at the start followed by a repeating block of 7 hints to me that you could get a stronger poem by settling on a basic metre and then sticking with it more strictly. You have avoided the perfect rhyme souls / goals for the assonance of souls / goal - is that deliberate? You can change the sentence to match reasonably easily - albeit at the penalty of inserting a word or two at the start to keep the rhythm the same.
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11/4/2023 10:50:52 AM Bob Atkinson Posts: 294	Thanks Tom for your learned response. I'm not so much into form as function. This taught to me by Charles Baudelaire and Oliver Goldsmith. Form? Pretty much irrelevant in my book. Function? Theme's gotta have a universal point & initiate further research, or thought, about the subject. Most of my poems, such as this one written in APA Style, with links to the encyclopedia articles on the subject. Simplistic, trite theme? Notsogood Cheers.... Bob
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11/5/2023 8:19:18 AM tom pickering Posts: 6	Bob_Atkinson wrote: Thanks Tom for your learned response. I'm not so much into form as function. This taught to me by Charles Baudelaire and Oliver Goldsmith. Form? Pretty much irrelevant in my book. Function? Theme's gotta have a universal point & initiate further research, or thought, about the subject. Most of my poems, such as this one written in APA Style, with links to the encyclopedia articles on the subject. Simplistic, trite theme? Notsogood Cheers.... Bob Wasn't Goldsmith's most famous poetic work (The Deserted Village) strict Iambic Pentameter with an AABBCC rhyming couplets pattern? I'm not sure that his lesson is that you need to jettison form to cover a serious topic. [edit] Or do you mean the later (and lesser) Canadian poet of the same name? Again seems to use very structured metre and rhyme pattern in his more successful works. edited by linux99 on 11/5/2023
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11/5/2023 9:47:43 PM Bob Atkinson Posts: 294	Keying in on form's irrelevant to writing poetry in my opinion. Stress should be on being prolific, non judgmental and relevant to society. Don't really care about form, other than avoidance of the trite, (verb 2b, is, are, was, were, trite things such as THE, IT , which I include myself when tired). Will leave form to those, like yourself, who consider it relevant, I don't. Regards,.... Bob
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11/6/2023 11:01:57 AM Bob Atkinson Posts: 294	linux99 wrote: Bob_Atkinson wrote: "...The Sonnet -by-Bob Atkinson Lentini believed in arrogance for he left us his own form strict instructions codified aberration from the norm yes,we feel constrained when we try to develop in this mode leaving behind our purpose for some instructions of a toad don’t tie my hands when I form words into meanings specific to tell of how I feel about something simple or intricate for I talk to those of independence not those who strike out for constraint of actions resolute as nothing’s banned or barred...."
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