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For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
9/9/2023 12:12:08 AM

Ayush Shrivastava
Posts: 1
Like moon if earth were a silver
it's scars would be the starved faces which quiver
scars etched more deeply than the moon
countless wrinkles of faces on the path to prune
Lines with stories but abstract
lines withholding their fate, but is it just that?
every line hold an inflicted punishment
punishment for their hunger and their lament
watch the justice of the lord in these cases
behold the jewellery of stomach over their faces
must be watch these carvings of our God
must be watch on the faces the nights they fought
pray! do not assign aesthetics on these sunken faces must we ask our God, for his art, if he ceases
heavy burden of the empty holes
lines of a painters' brush strokes
lines as if whips of a poet's pen
portrait of dejected and glum men
poetry of voids and grime
the felony of being poor non-bailable crime
The line fading from hands
shifting over faces, a faith withstands
come take a peek at this curvature
Decipher their past foretell the future
behold the mockery of wrinkles
behold the mockery of wrinkles
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10/3/2023 1:45:58 AM

David Seng'enge
Posts: 1
ayushshrivastava wrote:
Like moon if earth were a silver
it's scars would be the starved faces which quiver
scars etched more deeply than the moon
countless wrinkles of faces on the path to prune
Lines with stories but abstract
lines withholding their fate, but is it just that?
every line hold an inflicted punishment
punishment for their hunger and their lament
watch the justice of the lord in these cases
behold the jewellery of stomach over their faces
must be watch these carvings of our God
must be watch on the faces the nights they fought
pray! do not assign aesthetics on these sunken faces must we ask our God, for his art, if he ceases
heavy burden of the empty holes
lines of a painters' brush strokes
lines as if whips of a poet's pen
portrait of dejected and glum men
poetry of voids and grime
the felony of being poor non-bailable crime
The line fading from hands
shifting over faces, a faith withstands
come take a peek at this curvature
Decipher their past foretell the future
behold the mockery of wrinkles
behold the mockery of wrinkles









wow!
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