Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
8/20/2019 3:26:11 PM
Bill Boenker Posts: 3
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Open my eyes on a bloodshot morning The champion strains his leash He's howling in pain But he's howling in vain The lights on Love Street are red Tension mounts in my flesh The rigidity of perplexed anguish Turgid in my purple soldier's head Veins popping, striated muscle pink and warm I whip him, three times a day Offer him a hand out of spite I'll be frank: I spank and I spank This thing's bigger than the both of us edited by Muscoffo on 9/20/2019
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8/28/2019 3:31:53 AM
Edmund Strempfl Posts: 10
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Sorry but only see animal cruelty
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8/30/2019 7:11:58 PM
J.D. Cromwell Posts: 16
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Masturbation?
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9/2/2019 1:36:22 PM
Anna Pratt Posts: 7
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Seems like an interesting metaphor, but I don't know what it's a metaphor for
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9/5/2019 10:27:59 AM
Jack Webster Posts: 255
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The assonance in turgid and purple is simply ghastly; simply glistening - that unappealing shine the skin gets when something is starved for oxygen and about to fall off. Effective but unappealing. A seeming rigormortis edited by superlativedeleted on 9/5/2019
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9/5/2019 4:39:32 PM
Bill Boenker Posts: 3
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Thanks! I like talking about the dog. . .
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9/14/2019 5:45:11 PM
Starlight Matis Posts: 1
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this is animal abuse, why are you whipping, spanking, and choking your dog???
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9/20/2019 2:09:53 PM
Bill Boenker Posts: 3
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Funny how a metaphor can cause people to see something so negative. Animal abuse? Choking my dog? Where did that one come from? Hilarious.
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10/14/2019 12:00:21 PM
Jack Webster Posts: 255
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Well oddly enough the word disturb isn’t the only word with the root -sturb as its core, and in both instances they share similar ideological concepts.
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