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5/12/2019 3:16:48 PM keith osborne Posts: 59	Evidence of Spirit: Part IV La Folie du Renard An essence heard a heartfelt plea meek, unconfident, not familiar "Should I bother anymore? Please guide me." His words hardly mist.... a response slices the scene with the speed of a guillotine. skittering over the asymmetrical similarities of a snowy expanse a messenger appears cracks of icy dunes produce precarious pawfalls plaguing the vixen. venturing further precisely she plods over precipices of ragged protrusions desperate to achieve the comfort of a smooth surface. "Where you go is perilous! I worry for your safety! It can't be done, you won't survive!" ...cried the timid. Her movement stops on cue slowly facing the pupil she teaches in silent syllables floating on unknown frequencies. " DAMN YOU NAYSAYER! I have no time for the likes of you. Say I won't survive? Come out alive? I've fought through worse pain finding sustenance to gain morsels leaving one inspired not feeling as if they're mired. Search within your pores find where you have hidden yours." Dumbfounded - the novice stirs restlessly "Perplexed, I see, you are mon cherie. Hear what you seek before I flee. When life's coldness surrounding you leaves you writhingly wretched don't feel so desolate and utterly dejected. Deep inside lies the truth albeit quite protected. Bugger those scorning your worth their eyes glisten shades green. Stagnantly feeding ego's girth pompous words - own to preen. YOU are the Alpha here Jack there is no need to whine Condemn the disapproving pack let your own light shine Too much weight put into their drivel making your inner child snivel Buck up, put them in their place other's ire force them to chase. This be your nefarious impasse faux approval merely to fit in Always people of that class saying anything to win Lastly, though I've said enough.... It's as you learned when a tyke those times you fell off your bike quit being a ruse get back to your muse keep working at what you like!" Sunset facing her gaze signals the quest resumed Her protege audibly sobs a simple seven syllable soliloquy stating: "Thank you I love and miss you!" with a whispered (mom) Tender tendrils of whispy wind touch a cheek with a kiss and a lasting voiceless return..... "Forever, son"
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7/7/2019 6:00:43 PM Anna Pratt Posts: 7	I really liked the style for most of the poem, especially the first part. I like poems that tell stories, but I wasn't completely sure what story this was supposed to be or what the title is alluding to, so I might not really understand the meaning well enough to do as high of a critique as I could. The fifteenth stanza (It's as you learned... what you like) seemed to break with the earlier rhythm, which, instead of taking that opportunity to deliver an encompassing meaning, just made it sound a little silly. I also wasn't quite sure what to make of it- the meaning seems a little unclear, although if I understood what you're alluding to it might be a little more clear to me. For the most part I really did enjoy the style, and the story has potential. Keep writing!
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