Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
1/11/2017 7:46:24 AM
Tofara Moyo
Posts: 2
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Purple clouds pulse passionately,
Frothing , unfixed form.
fashioning grande visions of ominous glory,
and traveling textures
Over monochrome,
then shallow rhythms of aching drops
tunnel through the same old worn paths
of the end of joyful season.
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1/15/2017 8:33:10 AM
Barry Stebbings
Posts: 9
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I read this as being about a sense of anti-climax after the festive season. I think the end of the poem is better than the beginning. What is 'ominous glory'. The sentiment is good but I would consider re-writing this as a Tanka using the last five lines.
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