Fear
December,
A month of love, joy, snow, cold, grief.
A month of fear.
I never thought he would actually do it.
He told me his thoughts before,
And I brushed them aside.
He told me of his pain,
And I thought it was for attention.
Attention.
What a desperately desired thing but always mislabeled.
Confusion, unending thoughts, slippery words, scary,
Fear.
A cry for help that was ignored.
Why was it ignored? Why did I ignore?
My mom says I was young, but is that even an excuse?
He loved, cared, hoped, cherished me,
And I couldn’t save his life.
Pressure, so much pressure.
I relive the same situation but with another.
Fear, so much fear.
Overwhelming, unending, unrelenting, please help me, I’m so scared.
Fear.
She describes her thoughts so dark, sad, scary, why are they so hopeless?
I.
I don’t know where to start, how to help, how to handle, catch a grip, ask, seek, knock, please say that I’ll find
A solution.
I tell someone who can help.
Better to lose a friend through love than loss,
But she doesn’t think so, so I drown, I try to swim, I think of him, her, both,
And I cry.
And I fear.
Copyright ©
Luna Gifaldi
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