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Consuming Fire

Licking my wounds.
Recovering from the pain.
Is it supposed to
feel this way?
Empty, cold, and dejected.
Ashamed of not enjoying it.
Radiating heat filling me up
from my pelvic floor.
Somehow, I am wanting more.
More of the pain
without it there’s 
no freedom for what 
lies between my legs. 
I am ashamed of 
how it leaks, throbs,
& pulsates for more.
Maybe one more time, 
it won’t feel this way?
The all consuming fire
that takes me to
hotels with strange men.
Maybe it gets better
Or the best it will ever get?
But the high weighs more
in the moment.
To keep me sailing 
away from the fear 
and shame.
 With the pain, 
I do it anyway
Slowly as my heart, soul,
& sanity fade away 
While my pelvic floor screams
to breathe 
While my body crumbles 
from the destruction
a single man brings.

Copyright © Kendall Moon

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Book: Shattered Sighs