Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
4/30/2024 1:15:47 AM
Elaine DVC Posts: 4
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The Smile of a Child Peep out and see the genuine smile of a child.
The smile that brings happiness, which takes away loneliness Lighten the burdens within with smile of a child.
Poem Form: Dodoitsu Poem This poem has four lines. Rhyme and meter are not required. The syllable structure is 7/7/7/5.
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5/1/2024 1:44:55 AM
Amanda Payne Posts: 5
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Your poem captures the innocence and joy embodied in the smile of a child effectively. The simplicity of the language mirrors the purity of the sentiment, making it relatable and heartwarming. The imagery of the smile lightening burdens and dispelling loneliness resonates with readers, evoking a sense of warmth and comfort. However, consider adding more descriptive details or expanding on the impact of the child's smile to deepen the emotional connection with the reader. Overall, it's a lovely portrayal of the transformative power of a child's smile.
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5/12/2024 4:17:41 AM
Elaine DVC Posts: 4
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Thanks Amanda for your inspiring comment. I really appreciate it. :-)
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